Dreams

            A tiny church in a small town on the coast has an almost romantic tug on my heart.  I daydream about living in the manse and pastoring part time.

            I imagine myself RVing around the country with my beloved husband (who will do all the driving) for book signings and speaking engagements.

            I picture living down the street from my daughter and son-in-law in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, enjoying my role as grandmother.

            And I think about my life continuing just as it is now on this beautiful island with my wonderful church and fulfilling ministries in music and writing.

            It’s easy to identify the unknown and unlikely parts to these visions of the future:  I’m not so sure I have the call, let alone the gifts, to shepherd a flock, and I surely do not have a husband—beloved or not--with whom to travel!  There are also those tiny problems of not having a book published and not being in demand as an inspirational speaker.

            But those are my dreams, and before I discredit them I should acknowledge that once upon a time years ago, I had the unlikely vision of my sister, brother, and mother taking care of me, even of living with them.  And that came true, though not in the form I imagined:  I live with my mother and brother.  My sister, in her death, has provided income for my life.

            I’m reminded we never know the future and often barely understand the present.  I’m reminded to hold my dreams with an open hand for God to take or not.  And I’m reminded that trusting Him with my life as it is right in this moment is the best present there is:  a present that will lead me into whatever His future is for me.