By the end of the day, I was sliding into guilt again, subconsciously blaming myself for the absence of joy and the presence of insecurity. As I read the daily Lectionary and Bible-in-a year chapters, I could not concentrate. My mind kept slipping into daydreams and worries.
I took a brief break and then God broke in: not with clash or thunder, not with anything the least bit showy, but with the tiniest tender gleam of His glory, a pinpoint of laser light in the midst of gloom and self-blame. I paused, suddenly aware that He loved me with a fullness far more generous than I can imagine.
As I lay down in my bed ready to sleep, that tiny gleam became a joy wash. Fearful worries and fruitless daydreams quietly disappeared as His love prompted my prayers. Gratitude, joy, and meaning replaced the old guilt and wandering thoughts. Light filled my inner darkness and I prayed my heart out, receiving His joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment