I’m not going to be much good to anyone today. A full night of sleep has been elusive lately. Last night’s solid four hours were not enough. I went to bed late, still wired but exhausted from the strenuous joy of playing in our flute trio for the prelude, offertory, and postlude of the 5:30 p.m. Christmas Eve service and singing three anthems in the choir and playing for the offertory of the 9:00 p.m. service.
Writing about the worship helped settle me down a bit. It occurs to me that I am a distillery of words. To capture the wonder of the evening, I had to leave much unsaid. But communicating the essence of my experience sets me at rest, like I have fulfilled the thing most important to do.
How much is determined by rest or the lack of it? The buzz in my ears and the leaden fatigue that disallows sleep remind me of days and weeks and months in which I barely functioned beyond the necessary daily duties. How grateful I am for the more recent days and weeks and months of joy and purpose within my energy allotment.
A good friend of ours is coming to make dinner for us today, so I am off the hook. Our messy house doesn’t bother her, and she will even understand if I need to go take a nap. I will call my children at some point during the day, and Mom, John, Debra, and I are going to watch a movie tonight.
All the choir, Tradewinds, and Enchanted Flute Choir music has made this Christmas season extra special for me. Today I will rest and rejoice.
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