Part Nine: Up and Down

            See Your Chart proves to be both bane and blessing.  It is the website on which I can access my medical records from Oklahoma Cancer Specialists and Research Institute (OCSRI, formerly the Tulsa Cancer Institute).  Having the actual reports—labs, pathology, imaging—with their detailed medical lingo is great for an information-seeker such as I.  Truth be told, I like deciphering the reports before hearing the simplified explanation from my doctors. Still, both ways of learning more about my cancer situation lead to ups and downs.

            Gosh, I’m sounding very detached and clinical here.  After yesterday’s bone scan at OCSRI and appointment with Dr. Smith at Breast Surgery of Tulsa, I have been emotionally and physically wiped out.  There was, however, the wonderful reminder and reprieve last night as I read and pondered Psalm 46:1

                        God is our refuge and strength,

                                    an ever-present help in trouble.

And there were also some hours of total exhaustion mixed in with plenty of dread.  Toss in some fine food and fellowship with Mona during yesterday’s hours between appointments in Tulsa, followed by the comforting company of my daughter from 6 to 10:30 am this morning, and you get an idea of how I’m spending my summer vacation.

            I’ve never had anything more than X-rays, mammograms, and ultrasounds, so three scans in one week has been a brand-new experience.  Naturally, every single one required an IV for some sort of contrast solution.  I had a good laugh with the bone scan technician when he asked me the required question: “Is there any chance you could be pregnant, or are you breastfeeding?”  Today, I almost panicked when the CT tech told me I had to drink two big Styrofoam cups of barium solution.  Fortunately, it was not the chalky white stuff about which I’ve heard horror stories.  Instead, it looked like and tasted like slightly dirty water.  But let’s get to the all-important results of the scans.

            Last week’s breast MRI showed the tumor, which is still less than 2 centimeters, but it has a worrisome little spike extending down close to the chest muscle.  The MRI also showed several suspicious lymph nodes.  Yesterday’s whole body bone scan revealed one concerning spot on T11, which may or may not be cancer.  (Thus, I will have a lumbar MRI next week.)  The bone scan also confirmed my theory that I have osteoarthritis—left wrist and both shoulders.  Today’s CT chest scan with contrast shows no sign of metastasis in abdomen or pelvis—hallelujah!  (Incidentally, the report did not include the exclamation “hallelujah!”  But isn’t it amazing that I can access the scan report the same day?)  The scan did show moderate degenerative disc disease at L3-L4, which explains some of the back pain and leg pain I’ve been wondering about lately.

            Summarizing the results here makes me realize that I’ve had good news as well as bad news.  Of course, there is more news to follow next week with the MRI, and even more news to follow within the month from genetic testing.  What does all of this add up to so far?  Chemotherapy first (hopefully to start soon, but I still need the appointment to have the port installed as well as a chemotherapy consultation with Dr. Moussa), followed by breast surgery, and then radiation therapy.  It is going to be a long haul.  I hope that by next summer I will be ready for a relaxing trip to Whidbey Island.