Part Four: Not What I Imagined

            I had everything planned out in my mind.  On Friday morning I would have pen and paper handy on my dining room table so that when I called in to the clinic for the biopsy results, I’d be ready to take notes. 

            Thus, it was a shock when at 3:30 Thursday afternoon, on a tub and shower shopping expedition with Dana, Shawn, and children, my cell phone rang just as we entered the store.  The phone number looked vaguely familiar, so I answered.  It was the clinic with the pathology report.  I was unprepared.

            The news, however, was what I expected:  invasive ductal carcinoma, but possibly as early as Stage I.  Next step is an MRI at St. Francis Hospital in Tulsa.  And I need to make a quick decision about whether or not to have the genetic testing for BRCA 1 and BRCA 2.  My family history is strong: two or three paternal aunts and one half-sister whom I never met died from breast cancer.  My own sister died from ovarian cancer.

            Had I ever imagined I would have breast cancer?  Not until I found the lump on April 20.  I remember saying to the Lord that night, “I don’t want this,” but I was calm.  There have been plenty of other things I have not wanted in my life, but He has seen me through every single one of them.  Breast cancer certainly was never on my agenda, but now that it is, I want to keep leaning in to God’s love and God’s peace.  I’m finding that He is sufficient, even more than I ever imagined.