Not to brag or anything, but I am a woman of unusual abilities: I sprout headaches worthy of hangover status without any alcohol. I develop extremely sore and achy muscles with or without exercise. And tonight I suddenly acquired stabbing pain in the top of my foot, no effort required.
You would think that sitting in my recliner with proper lumbar support should not implicate my right ankle. Think again. Now, it is true that the pain did not appear until I stood up, but I neither tripped nor fell. Even though I am no athlete, I routinely stand and walk multiple times a day.
Lest you don’t take me seriously, let me emphasize the fact that this right foot of mine has been hurting for two hours now. I hobble instead of walk because my foot seizes up when I bear weight on it. The band of ice pick prods extends along the top of my foot and is only slightly relieved by sitting.
Fortunately, though, I have experienced similar strange foot pains in the past, so I realize that this, too, shall pass. Maybe I can sleep it off. First, though, I’ll take off my shoes . . . Voila! A little relief for my right foot, but now my left foot hurts, too. I guess the old neurons are misfiring tonight because the fiery jolts have just begun in my right pinky. I better get to bed while I still have working parts.
*Neuronic is a bona fide word, not to be confused with neurotic. I even looked it up twice.
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