Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Post-Christmas Parody (I think Cathie would have laughed at this.)


The other day before I left for church, I started a bean soup blend in the crockpot.  With cumin as the main spice, the smell was heavenly when I returned some hours later.  It has been awhile since I’ve written a lyric parody of a familiar tune, but when the first line came to me, I just had to do the whole first verse:

It’s beginning to smell a lot like bean soup
All throughout the house;
Take a sniff in the bath and den or kitchen once again
With crockpot steam of cooking beans below.
It’s beginning to smell a lot like bean soup
Navy, black, and more
But the loveliest smell of all is the cornbread rising tall
Behind th’oven door.

            However, I must admit that there was no cornbread.


Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Remembering Cathie


            Ah, Cathie, how I miss you already.  Not having you in the world is hard even though we talked on the phone only occasionally and saw each other even less.  Numerous times this fall I thought of calling you but didn’t, and the times I tried I couldn’t reach you.  Most of those attempts were in December, when I felt such an urgency to touch base with you.   The call from Ellen late Sunday afternoon confirmed the urgency I had felt.  You died on Saturday, January 2.
            For the past few days, all I can think of is you.  I replay scenes from our friendship.  Us sitting at your dining room table drinking tea or coffee and talking.  Helping you go through stacks of mail.  Setting off in your van to go to church or do errands or pick up my brother John for a day outing.  He would take over the driver’s helm and we would head out on some adventure.  I particularly remember our day trip last June—out to Deception Falls.  Your right arm was still recovering from a recent surgery, so you could not operate your electric chair.  So you used your manual chair and he pushed you through the lovely wooded trails and onto the bridge where we were entranced by the falls.  On our way home, upon my request, we ate in Iver’s Restaurant on the Mukilteo landing.  John treated us to a gourmet feast, starting with first-class drinks:  your martini, my Sangria, and his sweet mixed drink.  Your steak, my salmon, and John’s seafood platter were all heavenly.  Then, even though we could barely handle a bite more, John ordered the fresh strawberry shortcake for us to share.
            The three of us enjoyed dinners together in your home when I came to the island on a visit and stayed with you.  We got along so seamlessly and splendidly, a perfect company of three.  I remember our attempts to stop you from standing up to reach the cupboards or pull a heavy pan from the oven.  “Sit down, Cathie!” I would say.  “Let me get the plates out.”  John would take the oven mitt from you as he said, “I’ll take care of that.”  It was so hard for you to stand, what with the diabetic neuropathy in your legs and feet and the rheumatoid arthritis.  So often you pushed yourself beyond your endurance.  We just wanted to give you a break.
            Perhaps I should go back in time and recall how you and I first met.  It was February of 2011, I believe, and I was going to lead a small group study for Lent.  Nancy signed up for it and also signed you up, even though you were a member of a different church.  With your consent, she suggested we meet at your house to make it easier for you—after all, you loved hosting groups in your home.  And if we met there, you did not have to worry about and arrange for a driver. What a gracious hostess you were for our group, which continued on in various configurations for several years after the initial six-week commitment. 
            Then in the early part of 2013, you were without a caregiver and going through a hard time.  My heart went out to you, so I started coming over to help you with your paperwork.  As we worked together and talked even more, we found the treasure of a deep friendship.  And then my mother died, and I decided to move to Oklahoma to be with my daughter and her family. 
            In the next two years, I visited the island three times and stayed with you.  We got along so well and you so graciously let me use your van.  Sometimes I would go out by myself for a good part of the day to see friends, walk the beach, run a few errands.  Other times we did those things (well, not beach walks) together.  There was an ease to staying with you—it was like coming home.
            To think that I never knew you during your active, healthier years.  You raised your children, worked, somehow carried on after the early death of your husband.  You raised one granddaughter and, when she had a daughter, doted on your great-granddaughter.  You endured much heartbreak, physical suffering, and increasing limitations.  The diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis conspired to put you in a wheelchair and rob you of most of your eyesight.  But you bravely soldiered on.
            Yesterday, when I was greeting families bringing their babes and young children to my church’s child care, I started thinking about how you would excel in this ministry.  I envisioned you maneuvering your electric chair to a good spot in the hallway.  I could see your big smile and hear your voice greet everyone with such vivacity and warmth.  From there I imagined you zipping around heaven in your wheelchair and joyously greeting your Savior and your loved ones.  But then, with a jolt of surprise, I realized that you don’t need your wheelchair anymore.  Your legs are strong, your vision clear, and your hearing perfect.  Immersed in Christ’s love, you are joyously worshipping the King of Kings and celebrating with all the saints.

            And now my tears fall, both in gratitude and in sorrow.  I miss you so much, Cathie, yet I am so happy for you.  And I look forward to our future reunion in heaven.


Sunday, December 13, 2015

Socks and Shoes


            Two-and-a-half-year-old Joelle was not ready to end our family Christmas celebration.  Still hopeful there might be more presents somewhere, she pulled out the now-empty Christmas stockings, sat down, and put them on her feet.  Delighted with our laughter, she walked about the living room holding them up like hip waders.
            This is not the first time we have celebrated Christmas early to accommodate travel schedules.  Nor will it be the last.  And I do not mind at all.  In fact, there are definite benefits to celebrating early.  Just at the time when most people are frantically shopping, decorating, and baking for the holidays, I am peacefully done.  I get to soak up the wonder of the Advent season without the rush and hurry. 
            There is much to anticipate even after all the presents have been opened.  Advent is the season of joyful expectation as we remember the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and look forward to His return.  I still remember the first time I heard about the Second Coming of Christ.  (Maybe I had not been paying attention at church as a child and as a young teen, or maybe it was simply not talked about.)  I was surprised and thought to myself, “Wow!  He’s coming back!”

            No matter your particular beliefs about how the time leading up to Christ’s return will play out, contemplating the certainty of that Second Coming should spur you on with joy.  No matter the trials and tribulations ahead, we know the outcome:  God wins.  What better reason to celebrate, to share the gospel freely, to give generously, to serve wholeheartedly.  We probably won’t put on Christmas stockings like Joelle, but we can take Paul’s words to heart:  “Put on your shoes so that you are ready to spread the Good News that gives peace”  (Ephesians 6:15, God’s Word Translation).

Sunday, October 25, 2015

First Trees


        A familiar catch of wonder grips me as the colors--burnished hues of yellow, orange, and red—come into view.  Set against a green landscape, the first trees of fall draw me into the hushed and holy presence of Beauty.  Such artistry our God creates!
        Driving up and down Bartlesville’s side streets in pursuit of Saturday morning yard sales, I notice each neighborhood’s first trees:  the ones with crimson mingled in with yellow and orange.  Is red the last gasp of life before the crunchy, brown leaves that litter the lawns? 
        My morning of driving, then stopping, then driving again seems like an analogy for life.  I am following the signposts to each goal, but the way there is winding and unexpectedly full of wonder.  I enjoy the journey as much as the destinations, which yield their own surprises.  I rather like following signs instead of charting a route beforehand.
        And today I reap a multi-colored harvest:  pale blue summer dress, navy flowered T-shirt, and velvet green tunic top for myself; headband with a pink flower as well as a Hello Kitty placemat for my granddaughter; and Monster vs. Aliens for my family.
        After lunch and a nap, I take a walk through my neighborhood.  My predetermined route will last another week, I hope.  Once the leaves have fallen from my favorite first tree, I will no longer plan my walks to take in its glory.  Each day the red increases, working down from the top branches to mingle with fading yellow, burnt orange, and summer green.  After this tree’s last leaf falls, I will let the signs of autumn lead me to new adventures.
       
       

        

Friday, September 11, 2015

A Four-Pancake Morning

September 7, 2015
            The usual protein drink does not sound good this Monday morning.  Nor does muesli, oatmeal, or toast.  So I mix up the last bit of the Bob’s Red Mill 10-Grain Pancake Mix, which yields four medium-sized pancakes.  Along with my espresso-strength iced coffee and handful of morning medications, it makes a superb breakfast.
            As I down the last bit of my super coffee, I wonder how long it will be before my blood sugar crashes.  I can already feel the fat cells expanding.  In another hour I can take my morning nap.
            Truthfully, the last four days have been lazy ones.  I’ve been motivated to go to the store, babysit, and go to church, but not much else.  Hours slip by with nothing accomplished.  My problem, I believe, is acedia, referred to by the ancient desert monks (and by Kathleen Norris in her book of same title) as “the noontime demon.”
            Except that my acedia is not confined to the noon hour.  It expands to include the entire day.  The only problem with me labeling my utter lack of motivation acedia is that it is not entirely correct because the word refers to the listlessness and restlessness that can creep into the daily discipline of work and prayer.  You know, the routine gets boring.  I don’t work and I don’t pray nearly enough.  Besides, I don’t really have a daily routine other than eventually getting out of bed in the morning and back into bed at night.  Okay, I’m exaggerating.  I do shower, eat meals, and take naps.
            I’m thinking that I’m not the only person who deals with this acedia problem.  It seems directly connected to having too much time on my hands, which stems from being careful to not get too busy, which stems from needing to have plenty of extra space in my days to accommodate the fibromyalgia.  When your body has no get up and go, it’s easy to let hours slip by.  I don’t have a TV, but I do have a Kindle, and in the name of keeping my brain sharp, I waste a lot of time playing games.
            Why can’t I make the hours count by engaging in prayer and Bible study, or cleaning my dirty house, or writing, or practicing my flute? 
            That is an excellent question.  It even has motivating power.  However, before I ponder it more or take action, I am going to apply ice to my cramping back, try the pressure points for nausea, and then take that morning nap. 

            

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Electronic Grief


It does not seem fair that I should experience a sense of loss over a shift in my electronic devices.  You see, I'm dealing with too much electronic change at once.  My desktop computer is showing symptoms of an imminent hard drive crash, and I've switched smartphones.  It doesn't take too much to rattle my sensibilities and challenge my abilities. 
It is far too soon for my desktop to fail, but there you have the risk of purchasing a refurbished CPU.  (I think that is the term for the box that holds all the circuits.)  Less than a year ago, I transferred all my Lenovo laptop files to this lemon of a desktop.  I have had enough crashes in my computing lifetime (since 1989) to make me very afraid of losing all my data--in my case, all those precious Word documents.  But I hate computer change precisely because I do not know what I am doing when it comes to technology.  So this afternoon, I meant to save my files to Google Drive (or is it Google docs)?  Instead, the only icon available to drag and drop my files was Microsoft's One Drive.  So that is where they went.  And it took a very long time due to my desktop's unreliability and my own lack of ability; plus, I triggered a MIcrosoft email alerting me to possible suspicious activity on my account due to my repeated sign-ins on various devices as I was trying to figure out what I was doing.  But at least now I can access everything--if I did not lose files in the process--on my Chromebook. 
At least the other part of my technical stress is a positive improvement:  a change of smartphones from an HTC One that never connected to wireless networks to a Sony Xperia Z1S that appears to do everything but my dishes.   Bigger screen, fast connections, confusing display:  fortunately, Sony remembers that some of its customers lack electronic savvy and provides a "Simple Home" screen option that I can almost understand.  It is reminiscent, I think, of the much maligned Windows 8 home screen. 
Still, the learning curve on using a new phone is rather steep for me.  Plus, I have a new phone number.  Given the option to change my number, I did, so now I am an Oklahoma local. But at least I am down to one phone again:  for a few days I was using both the HTC and the Sony while my brother was working out the details of the family plan switch from AT&T to TMobile.  Give me some time, though, before I customize my voice mail. 
Tonight I'm feeling a little nostalgic for that 360 area code and a little blue over the terminal illness of my desktop.  But I will get used to the larger phone screen and smaller Chromebook screen.  And I will learn my phone number and how to use OneDrive.  In the meantime, I need to load some toddler games for my granddaughter to my second oldest Kindle.  But first, maybe I'll read one of the recent free ebooks I recently downloaded to my Kindle Fire. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

At Grandma's House


            Except for the very last thing Joelle does as I walk her home, we have a fine time Thursday afternoon.  She is very excited at the prospect of going to Grandma’s house.  As we stroll across the street, she makes conversation in her 2-year-old fashion:  “House?!  Piano.  Tree.  What’s that?”  She squeals in sheer delight as we open the front door.
            For the next hour and a half she keeps me busy.  Naturally, she wants to play the piano.  She loves to get up on the piano bench and hit the keys as well as carefully turn the pages of the beginner’s book I play from.  There is a little confusion over music terminology, though:  when she points at the notes, she says “pictures” or “flute.”  I decide to clear things up by showing her my flute and playing it.  When my back is turned toward my music and she is quiet, I mistakenly think she is a captive audience, but instead she is helping herself to my water at the dining room table.  She loves the straw, and fortunately the plastic glass has a lid.
            Another activity Joelle requests is for me to pick her up in front of the music stand and switch on the stand light.  “On” and “off” are still challenging concepts, so she always asks by saying “Light off.”  Smiles and laughter ensue as I switch the light on.
            When I tell her “no” to her first requests to look at pictures on my smartphone, we explore other pictures instead.  First, we look at the digital picture frame in my kitchen.  Again, I’m holding her so she can see, and today her interest is drawn more to the items on the windowsill and the bunch of bananas on the counter.  When she says, “down,” I comply and follow her back to my office.  There she stands in front of the full-length mirror and talks to herself, gesturing toward my desk and saying “computer.”  Usually it’s just “pewter,” so I happily note the extra syllable.  I hold her on my lap and we peruse her mommy’s Facebook page, which has plenty of pictures and videos of he and her brother.  Her favorite is the one of her playing the piano at my house.
            Now, before I go any further, you have to realize that I am imposing a false order on today’s events.  In reality, just about anything I mention here is done multiple times.  We move fluidly from one activity to the next every couple minutes.  Back and forth, forth and back.  Again and again.
            The toy room does not get much attention today, just a quick look through a couple books.  There are more interesting things to explore at Grandma’s house than the toys that Mommy periodically sends over.  Surprisingly, today Joelle neither asks to color at the table or to touch the seashell decoration that hangs from a ceiling hook in the dining room.
            She goes to stand in front of my closed bedroom door and says, “Room?”  As always, I answer her one-word question with a full-sentence question:  “Do you want to go into Grandma’s bedroom?”  She makes her usual reply, “okay,” adding an affirmative nod of her head.
            There are so many exciting things to explore in my room:  the chapstick, the eyedrops, and the hand lotion on my bedside table; the bench at the end of my bed; the half bath; and the array of items on the antique crates.  She asks for the items she cannot reach.  I get the stacking Russian dolls and we bring them out to the piano bench where she helps me take them apart, pretends to drink from the lower halves—which do look like small cups—and says, “Coffee?”  A little later she finds two cleaning cloths for my glasses as well as my arthritis gloves.  After she wipes her nose with one of the microfiber cloths, I make a mental note to finally wash it.  I put on one of the gloves, and she is entranced.  She holds out her hand, and I pull the other glove on up her arm; then, we wave at each other for a while.  She pretends to talk on the phone, gloved hand to her ear:  “Hello.  Mommy?” followed by her brand of gibberish that she uses so well to fill in the gaps of her sentence skills. 
            But the highlight of the day—after we share a banana—is the old lanyard she finds in a container on the lowest of my crate boxes.  It belonged to my sister, who worked at the University of North Carolina.  I find a small picture to put in the now-empty plastic casing, and Joelle is delighted.  She calls it “new” (I think) as she holds both ends and flings her arms up and down, stomping her feet in a dance.  I smile, thinking how my sister would have enjoyed this moment, so I decide to take a video of Joelle playing with that old lanyard.  Then we must sit on the couch so she can watch herself on my smartphone.  She finds parts of her playtime very funny, so we watch the two-minute video three times in a row.  Before the third viewing, I tell her that this is the last time and then we will go back to her house. (I learned recently that leaving my house is easier for her if I tell her when we are going and if she can take something home.)
            Today that something is the lanyard.  After we cross the street and start walking through the front yard to her house, she stops and reaches down for something she sees in the grass.  It is in her hand before I realize it is a bird’s egg, and before I can take it from her, she squeezes it hard.  Pop!  Rotten slime squirts out, hitting my hand, the lanyard, and my phone.  I get her to drop the broken shell and hurry her along to the front door.  The smell is horrible beyond words, and, I must add, doesn’t not wash off with the slime.  Dana gets Joelle cleaned up, and I wash my hands.  I grab the lanyard and my phone on my way out.  Lanyard, cell phone case, and protective screen are now in the trash.  I’ve wiped down the phone the best I can and have scrubbed my hands with dish soap and then with lemon juice.

            The lanyard is one of those little things I did not have the heart to throw away after my sister died in 2009.  I’m glad it had its last fling with my granddaughter. I hope that the rotten egg smell in both houses dissipates soon.  And even though our afternoon ended on such a slimy note, I am glad I get to enjoy my house through the eyes of my granddaughter.