Notes

November 15

Earlier this week, I gave up on trying to use the pain medicine the doctor ordered. I couldn’t stand the zombie feeling it gave me during the day, and at night it kept me awake. So, I made my request and disposed of the pricey Vicodin at the pharmacy when I picked up the inexpensive Tylenol #3.

That change did not yield the title of game changer, but it was a step in the right direction. My body’s response to chemo seems to be an ever-changing landscape. New things keep popping up, most recently an intense sensitivity to odors and sounds, even to the music I love so much. At times, I need silence. My brain overreacts to stimuli.  But this morning, I was able to listen to music, for which I am grateful.

Sometimes the fatigue forces a full stop. But it’s my brain I miss the most. I know I am not thinking clearly.

November 16

I woke up feeling almost normal and decided to write. However, forgetting that the “almost normal” feeling likely had a time limit, I wasted some time online. Unfortunately, that hour used up the sense of well-being and bit of brain power I started out with. Back to the recliner to rest.

November 17

The good news from a few days ago is that I’m getting an extra week between treatments due to Thanksgiving week, making my next treatment in the first week of December. That automatically gives me another extra week before my last treatment, which will now be the week after Christmas.

One evening recently, as I lay in bed listening to music, I was swept up in the glory and beauty of God’s love. Such moments are pure gifts from the Father’s heart.