Saturday

 And here it begins again: wobbly knees and shaky hands (likely peripheral neuropathy) and muscle and joint pain. But this time I am prepared. As pain twinges started up yesterday, joining the sheer exhaustion from chemo, I started on regular Tylenol. With the gradual arrival of muscle complaints in my back, I’ve graduated to Vicodin. Unfortunately, it makes me spacey and sleepy, but I find that far preferable to pain. Clearly, I’m not going anywhere for a few days.

But I do have choices: recliner, bed, office chair at computer; music, social media, and games on my Kindle. Reading books depends upon the level of concentration I can achieve. Oh, yes, and phone calls. I’m catching on to the fact that phone conversations are good pick me ups.

The thing about cancer or any chronic illness is that it can isolate you rather quickly. I like being alone but, you know, there is a limit.

And here, at this moment, my brain has hit its limit on concentrating enough to blog, so I stop for now . . .

Now evening, and I’m still spacey, but not quite so bad since I cut my pain med dose in half at supper. That plus about an hour with the heating pad seems to have worked nicely.

Reading today was confined to social media and news. Hopefully tomorrow, I’ll get back to a chapter a day of N.T. Wright’s study, The Heart of Romans. Even without chemo brain, it would be a bit above my head, but at least I can follow the broad scope of his commentary on Romans 8. It’s inspiring and good.

I start and end my days with music. The two albums I listen to the most, both by Christian musician Fernando Ortega, are Give Me Jesus and The Shadow of Your Wings. They are peaceful and inspiring. They help me remember whose I am and keep me grounded. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.