Musings

 When my son gets home from work after 3 pm, I will take the car and go grocery shopping at Walmart. The last time I drove myself anywhere was on November 5.

I made it through the pain phase and successfully weaned myself off the pain medication which, I thought, would mean going places again. Not so. Fatigue has refused to leave and keeps me home. You see, Joseph and I share my car. Having the car for the day requires me dropping him off at work or school in the morning and picking him up at the end of the day. That sounds too strenuous to me.

In the past couple weeks, my sleeping schedule has shifted due to a big eczema outbreak. It’s hard to go to sleep and stay asleep at night due to extreme itching. (I think I’ve tried every remedy there is. Applying a cold damp washcloth to the itching area for 5-10 minutes seems to work the best, but have you ever tried to sleep with a cold washcloth on your arm?) It turns out that my best time for sleep is all morning. After an early morning light breakfast and an hour or so listening to music as I relax in my recliner, I go back to bed.

There in bed this morning, I mused about mitochondria, which provide energy to cells. (Don’t worry, this is as close to biology as I get. You can Google the term and find an incomprehensible definition--for non-science majors, that is.) I began to imagine my personal mitochondria cell factories operating at sub-optimal levels since chemo began. Are they understaffed? Or lobbying for better working conditions? Workers’ complaints about the unknown force (chemo) that interferes with their best efforts have not been addressed by management. In my imagination, the workers look just like the ones in Despicable Me.

Okay, so that was a rabbit trail.

Here is what all this staying home and being so tired makes me think about: the many people who are stuck at home due to things beyond their control. A phone call or a visit means the world. Make the phone call, do the visit and brighten their worlds.

And here is another thing to remember when life slows down due to illness: be grateful for the little bits that you can do and be kind to yourself.

p.s. I slogged through the Walmart crowds wearing my mask. The cashier at the less than 20 items lane was very nice and loaded my cart for me. Joseph unloaded the car and put the groceries away. I’m all done in. My expedition this afternoon was a little more than I should have done, but now I can rest and count my blessings.