No Foolin'

            I just finished reading Three Corners Has My Cat:  Caregiving in Alzheimer’s Time.  No foolin’.

            Perhaps it seems a strange thing to do, read a book that I wrote over a period of five years and edited many times.  But I wanted to find out what it was like to read the whole thing just like I read any other book.  And it is the best way I know to reminisce about my mom.

            You see, I miss her.  My life took off in a whole new direction soon after she died, and sometimes I can hardly believe how quickly everything has changed.  So it seemed right to take some time to read my book, to pause a bit and remember my caregiving life on the island that I will soon be visiting. 

            The writer in me notices the occasional typographical errors and awkward sentences.  She sees how the manuscript would benefit from professional advice and editing.  But she also notes the poetry of well-turned phrases and feels the emotions evoked by description and dialogue. The daughter in me misses her mother and is so profoundly grateful to have this written recollection.  The caregiver in me still feels the guilt, relief, and grief that those pages record. 

            So I’m feeling sad and nostalgic for the past as well as thankful to have had those years with my mother and my brother and my friends on Whidbey Island.  What a gift that time was!  I am also reminded to embrace each day of my present life with joy and gratitude.  God has blessed me in so many ways here in Bartlesville. 

            Still, I’m looking forward to two weeks of water and mountain views, of worship and music, of fellowship and fun on the island that still feels like home.  And, Mom, I’ll be thinking of you every single day.  No foolin’.