Discouraged

 The last two weeks have sort of sloshed on by, the first week all at home except for a lovely lunch out late in the week with friends. This week has been marked by brief daily excursions to exciting places such as the grocery store, the pharmacy, and the doctor.

I love going places. The driving part is fine. It’s just the getting out part that involves walking that exhausts me.

Yesterday’s outing turned out well. I had a less-than-20-items list for Walmart that I leisurely filled in less than an hour. Deciding I deserved a treat, I drove over to my favorite coffee shop (Jude’s, for you locals) to pick up a coffee protein shake and a scone. A friend called, and from there, I drove to the duck pond (Jo Allyn Lowe Park) to enjoy the view and phone conversation along with my treat. I spent the rest of the day resting.

I’ve let myself fall into a funk. I’m tired of being tired despite sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Motivation to do the little things that I can runs low.

Before I sink into a true pity party, though, perhaps some thankfulness will help:

·         I’m thankful that the physical pains of the first week after chemo have subsided.

·         I’m thankful that there is only one more chemo treatment (January 8).

·         I’m thankful for my friends and family that help me and encourage me along the way.

·         I’m thankful for my home. (Recently, I learned of an individual who is homeless and going through chemotherapy. I cannot imagine how difficult that must be.)

·         I’m thankful for meals and protein drinks from Hopestone Cancer Support Center.

I’d rather post when I am not discouraged (that’s the reason for my silence of late). But since discouragement is a part of any lengthy medical treatment that takes you out of the mainstream, I might as well voice it.

And the next two weeks promise to be better. Those are two more weeks than I usually get between treatments. I should feel well enough to attend church services. There will be Christmas with my entire immediate family—and how I’ve missed the grandchildren since I last saw them on December 3.

Now is a good time to remember this quotation by Julian of Norwich, a well-known Christian mystic and anchoress of the Middle Ages: “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” I like the emphasis on “well”!