Friday, October 5, 2012

A Week of It



            The Desert Fathers often referred to it.  Kathleen Norris wrote a book about it.  Therefore, I must be in good company because I’m in the middle of it:  acedia, “the noonday demon.”
            Translated into plain old English, acedia is a siege of spiritual lethargy.  Mental health experts call it depression.  Fibromyalgia sufferers call it fibro fatigue.  An article I just read calls it one possible result of oxidative stress (http://www.fmnetnews.com/latest-news/getting-to-the-root-of-fibromyalgia).  I call it all of the above.
            Each morning I vow to overcome it, and I do:  from mid-morning to noon.  About the time the sun is shining the brightest, my batteries need recharging, and they don’t seem to be solar-powered.  I plod through another unproductive day, and the stack on my desk grows a little deeper, the kitchen grows a little messier, and the dust bunnies grow a little larger.
            I could be working on writing-related projects that I normally love:  blogging, editing our church history project, proofreading my daughter’s book manuscript.  Sometimes I manage a little time on one of those during the afternoon.  But by evening I am ready to play computer solitaire while I watch the news and then read for a few hours.
            Whatever you want to call it, I am trying to get over it.  Yesterday I took a walk on the beach, enjoying the sun and brisk breeze, the sound of waves breaking, and the sight of seagulls gathering.  Today I bagged up clothing items that I either never wear or that no longer fit me.  Tomorrow I’ll go to one of the farmer’s markets in the area.
            Right now I’m thinking of what will be easiest to make for supper.   After we eat, I’ll watch the news, finish the novel I started reading last night, and do my devotions at bedtime.  I do not like the spiritual doldrums, but the book I’m reading on praying the 23rd Psalm reminds me that the Shepherd is near even when he seems far away.  I hope that if I keep listening, I’ll hear his voice.

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