December 6: Taking Action

            Late yesterday afternoon I read Dana’s most recent blog, “Someday.” (http://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/12/someday.html?spref=fb)  It tugged at this mother’s heart and inspired action.  I was doing Google searches and reading articles about Down syndrome and temper tantrums, hoping for some shining bit of insight that would be of help.  The reading reinforced what I knew already:  my daughter is a remarkable mother.

            The phone rang.  It was Joseph, a very upset Joseph.  He moved to another apartment complex at the end of November, hoping to escape the smell of cigarette smoke and the din of traffic.  He escaped neither.  Fortunately, my Stephen Minister training kicked in, and I listened to his feelings, reflecting back what I heard:  “You must be feeling very frustrated.”  Then, gradually, we moved on to solutions—what he can do and what is beyond his control.  I offered to research air purifiers for him.

            While I was still on the phone with Joseph, Mom came in the house with a huge armload of clothes from John’s house, mostly socks. 

“Dirty laundry?” I asked. 

“No, it’s something else.  You will have to look through this with me.” 

            After a bit, I got off the phone with Joseph and walked back to the living room to inspect the pile of clothing Mom had already forgotten about.  My mistake was picking up a sock to smell it—never a good way to determine if socks are clean. 

            I lugged the load back to the washing machine.  As I dropped individual pieces in, I gradually realized that every single item had at least one hole or tear in it.  The light dawned:  Mom had been poking around in John’s basement and found a rag bag of items John had not gotten around to tossing yet.  (In his defense, until very recently it was almost impossible to get rid of anything because Mom would nab what looked remotely salvageable from the trash cans.)  With that realization, I took out a 13-gallon trash bag and loaded it with all of the worn socks and ripped shirts.

            Later in the evening, after a fruitful flute choir practice in Oak Harbor, I resumed Google searches.  Within a couple hours, I had ordered an air purifier for Joseph and sent what I hope is an encouraging email to Dana.  It felt good to take some action.  Today I will transfer the bag of old socks and shirts from its hiding spot beside my bed to the trash can where it belongs.