Meditation on Suffering

If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you. –1 Peter 2:20-21, NIV

It’s better to suffer for good than to suffer for bad. However, any suffering has the potential to draw us closer to Christ.

I’ve suffered because of my own sins and because of the sins of others. I’ve suffered for no apparent reason. I’ve suffered because of chronic illness. I’ve suffered for doing the right thing. Sometimes I have endured, and sometimes I have not. But no matter the suffering, it is the flip side of joy.

Suffering builds character if we face it. Most of us spend our lives running away from suffering. We don’t want to feel the dreadful pain or have discomfort nag away at our souls. So we run, and there are many ways to run: alcohol, drugs, food, anger, workaholism, codependency, sex are just a few. There are many ways to avoid ourselves. There are many ways to mute our suffering. We are experts at avoidance.

Suffering builds character when we embrace it, when we face hard lessons and work through pain. Sometimes as Christians we mistakenly believe that having negative emotions is a sign of moral weakness. We forget that we are human and that our emotions can uncover our pain. We think we should always have the “right” emotional response to every situation and bully ourselves over what we really feel.

It’s when I am truthful with myself and God that healing comes: not always quickly but always eventually. I might as well live in whatever honesty I am capable of instead of actively trying to deceive myself into ever-sunny feelings. God helps me become real so he can really work with me.

When we’ve known suffering, we appreciate joy at new levels. We don’t take joy for granted anymore. It is a fresh surprise.

However, we don’t want to suffer with a martyr complex: “Look at how noble I am in the midst of my terrible suffering.” That attitude often indicates fear. We are afraid to change ourselves or change our circumstances. We are afraid to admit the part we play in our own suffering. We get comfortable in having people feel sorry for us. We may even want to set ourselves up as a role model for Christ-like endurance. Pretentious piety like that makes nonbelievers want to puke, and rightly so.

We like to think we understand reasons for suffering. We like to explain the inexplicable away. We lay blame on the sufferer, or we say trite sayings that make us feel good. We pretend to know God’s purpose and have an explanation for everything.

It is better simply to enter into others’ suffering: cry tears with them; admit we don’t know why; listen; love. Empathy is risky. Suffering hurts. But God has promised joy in the morning. And he can even give us joy in our mourning.