In a Jam

          “Joseph!” I called. “Can you bring me the screwdriver? I’m stuck in my room!”

          Thankfully, Joseph was awake and heard me.  Thankfully, I remembered where I store the screwdriver and was able to explain it to him.  Thankfully, since having the thick carpeting removed and the red oak floors refinished before I moved into my house seven years ago, I’ve never had the doors and baseboards lowered to be flush with the floor. The chunky screwdriver slid right under the door to me.

          I’m an expert procrastinator when it comes to home repairs. That’s because I’m all thumbs when it comes to fixing anything.  The doorknob had been difficult to turn for a long time, and I had dutifully put off the inevitable replacement.

          Getting it off, though, did not get me out of my room.  The mechanism inside was jammed.  Fortunately, after fruitless attempts using brute force, it occurred to me to have Joseph re-insert the doorknob from his side, which activated the mechanism.  I escaped.

          Later in the day, I bought a doorknob at Lowe’s and hoped I would be able to install it.  Somehow, taking things apart is easier than putting them back together.  But at least I had experience: about 25 years ago, I had replaced the doorknob to the front door of another house.  It only took a few hours, and I only discovered the little mistake I made in the installation when I was locking up the house for the night:  the keyhole was on the inside, and the lock was on the outside.

          Amazingly, the new doorknob to my bedroom fit, and I was able to put it on rather easily.  Well, except for one little mistake: after inserting the inside mechanism and securing the plate, I wanted to make sure it worked before I installed the knobs . . . so I closed the door, locking myself in my bedroom for the second time today.  Joseph again came to the rescue so I could finish the job.

          You might wonder why I didn’t have my son perform this supposedly simple household repair.  The answer is quite simple: I raised him.  He had no opportunity to learn how to do all the things I don’t know how to do. However, he’s a great back up when I get myself in a jam.