I spoke too soon.
These past few weeks since my PET scan, I’ve been happily
cruising along and gaining a little more energy each day. But yesterday, I
learned firsthand how a lack of knowledge can mislead you into thinking you
know it all.
Calling in to Hopestone Cancer Support Center
yesterday, I spoke with the director about my good news. She rejoiced with me but then filled me in with details I did not want to hear. They boil down to
this: treatments must continue to keep the cancer at bay. Obviously, the Trudolvy
is working very well, but metastatic triple negative breast cancer is
aggressive and sneaky. Without treatments, it will come back even harder.
Debbie has had years of experience with helping cancer patients, and maintenance
chemotherapy is what prolongs the lives of those with stage IV cancer. As
happened after my first and second rounds of cancer, stray cancer cells hung
around and eventually got active again. (No one know what triggers that
activity.) I was blessed to have eight years of remission after the first
cancer. After the second cancer, I had a mere 8-9 months before it returned.
Ouch.
It is so, so hard to think of being weak and fatigued
now that I’ve had a taste of energy and hope of being cancer free. I’m glad she
explained the need for maintenance chemo to me, though: otherwise, I would have
been completely devastated when I see Dr. Moussa later today. . . .
Dr. Moussa was very pleased with the PET scan as well
as today’s bloodwork. Though my cancer is in remission, treatments must
continue to prevent any stray cancer cells from multiplying and spreading. We
will follow the same treatment plan: infusion two Thursdays in a row followed
by a week off. Tomorrow will be my fourth infusion. He says that after I have
completed six infusions, he will look at a possible dose reduction and/or
longer times between infusions.
Early this morning, I felt defeated and depressed, so I
prayed, telling God all about my disappointment and asking for his strength to
endure. Then, as I often do, I went back to bed for a few hours. I rested,
maybe dozed on and off, and found myself thanking God for his help. By the time
I woke up, the sense of defeat and depression were gone. You see, our Triune
God is ever faithful. He will see me through.
